results are in

Guess who's test results got lost at the doctor's office?

Guess who's bad news test results got lost at the doctor's office?

How did you know? You must read my real blog where I mildly lost it and started drowning my fears in Bourbon and blue eye make up and posted while drunk, which is always a good idea if you are a mommyblogger. (It works, btw, all three things made me feel better).

So, I go in for another horribly painful and bloody biopsy on the 9th of October and then the doctor will decide what to do from there. I'm guessing that I'll have to have more cervix taken off. Away? Out? I don't know what word to use there. Seriously, why can't she just remove the whole damned thing? I'm willing to have my crotch sewn shut at this point.

I love my doctor, I really do, and I especially love how she reassures me that I don't have HPV related cancer, as if that is supposed to make it all better. Congratulations for not being contagious!, now for the bad news.

Why can't I just have an STD like a normal person? Life would be so much easier.

I guess in kinda good news the results show that it isn't as bad as it was the last time, and the last time it wasn't as bad as the first time.

The first time showed raging mutations, then I had Jake and I guess pregnancy causes your cervical cells to overturn so fast that it can actually cure whatever is wrong. Then it came back so I had that surgery last September. Then it was gone but then it came back and here I am today.

Make sense?

Don't worry, I don't get it either.