shiny

Today was the big doctor visit, the one that was going to solve all my problems and turn me back into a princess. Hell, I'd settle for a stagecoach at this point.

Of course when I got there the receptionist told me that there was no record of my appointment, which I had to wait over two months for. All my information was in the computer, including symptoms and words like itching and anus. Everything but my 9am go-time.

Because I nearly cried, she spoke with the doctor and he said he'd see me anyway. At eleven. Whatever. I've waited this long. What the hell was two more hours.

Okay, I did cry a little. But no sobbing and I pretended to sneeze a couple times and put in eye drops as if my allergies were bothering me. I'm such a phony.

After giving the rundown of symptoms, he said that he suspected lichen sclerosis (LS) but after the exam he said he wasn't so sure despite the "shininess and snugness". His words. He said there wasn't enough scarring to indicate anything specific but there were signs of irritation and swelling. Eww.

He wasn't sure what the bumps were, only that they weren't of the contagious sort and probably not cancerous.

He wasn't sure why things are changing shape down there. It's not gross or anything, just different. He wasn't sure what the cause of anything was. But he doesn't think it's LS. Or at least developed LS. Maybe just the start of it. Or maybe something totally different. Or maybe something meh, or something bleh. He says it is definitely something diagnosable and maybe even treatable based on the way it looks and feels (the way I feel it, not the way it feels to him- I find that important to note).

This is the leading effing VVD specialist in the country, dammit.

I was given two options. One was to do nothing until I get another flare up and try to get in, although it really isn't guaranteed that I'll get in. Two was to treat for recurrent yeast infections. Turns out you can have them but not really know you have them and treat for them but get nowhere because you are doing the wrong sort of treatment. Who knew. Also turns out that nine times out of ten (or something like that. I make up 58% of all statistics I quote. Don't ever trust anything empirical coming out of my mouth) if you are experiencing any irritation at all in your Volvo there is bound to be a yeast issue. Word. Whatever. Just fix it.

One more thing, I got about eight pieces of literature today telling me to absolutely not under any circumstances use Always pads. They are my favorite because they are slender and fit my crotch nicely. Unlike the horses that Kotex, et al. sells. I did some independent internet research and it seems that they use plastics and glues that are highly irritating. They make Luvs diapers too, and I have heard terrible things about them too. I've never used them because of what people say. Live and learn and don't get Luvs. What do you use?